In the world of film not everything can be an A grade blockbuster, hell, not much actually is. But anyone who has ever been to a video store will know the joy of B-Movie titles that grace the lower rows. For every Big Arnie there's a Billy Blanks, for every Robert Deniro there's a Rowdy Roddy Piper. These unsung heroes of B-movie awesomness grace every video store in the land. And here is the recipe to make one.
Title.
Title is ALL IMPORTANT! Why make a film called Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe when you can make a film called CANNIBAL TERMINATOR NINJAS???? The more awesome words in your title the better. To make your film title as awesome as possible simply combine two or three of any of the following words to make your awesome movie more awesome.
Assassin
Annihilator
Kill
Force
Attack
Terminal
Maximum
Limit
Death
Revenge
Velocity
Ultimate
Strike
Ninja
Termination
Nuclear
For EVEN MORE AWESOME add any of these words.
Gorilla
Nuns
Cannibal
Plot.
Plot is optional. Themes are more important. Make sure you have these themes. Betrayal, revenge, explosions. That is all.
Stunts and Fights
Stunts are paramount. Stunts are what will appear on your front cover art and posters. Make sure you have a stunt every three minutes (don't worry about time, your film shouldn't be more than 80 minutes) stunts must include cars exploding, cars flipping, cars crashing, cars crashing then flipping then exploding. Helicopters crashing are also good, five helicopters crashing into each other is AWESOME, just use model helicopters, audiences are stupid and won't notice the difference.
Make sure you have TONS of fights, make the fighting fancy and never show any real action apart from the awesome wire work you are doing because you got the cousin of the mate of the guy who nearly got to do the matrix wire work.
One Liners.
Your film should be BULGING with AWESOME one liners. So many that the script may cease to be relevant. Never miss an opportunity to bring more awesomness to the film. One liners work best just before of after an extremely violent death. Don't worry about being cheesy, one liners are IMPOSSIBLE to be cheesy and everyone takes them totally seriously.
Stars.
Rowdy Roddy Piper, Bull Duke, Mark Dascascos, A wrestler, Billy Blanks, Steven Seagal are all AWESOME DUDES that you should consider getting in your film.
Cover art.
Now to round off your new product. Your cover should have..
A. A dude with a gun, a big one.
B. An explosion.
C. A car, skidding, flipping, exploding, smashing.....
D. A helicopter or train performing the same action as the car.
E. A large chested girl.
F. Ninjas
G. A killer Robot.
Now that your masterpiece is complete you only need to sit back and reap the worldwide acclaim. :D